even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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