I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
