youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
