Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize