we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
