hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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