She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
