I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
