i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
