batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
