I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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