I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
