Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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