is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
