i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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