That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
