We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
