So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
