remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
