You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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