dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
