i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
