This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
