More tranny stories later!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
