Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
