Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
