You're so nebulous sometimes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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