how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
