Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
