Yo dont text me then not text me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
