Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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