It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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