yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
