She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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