Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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