Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
