What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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