Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I will pee on everything he values.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
