Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
