OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
