Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
