Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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