Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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