The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
