I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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