I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
