and next time when you feel me up, do it right
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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