if you like me you must not know who I am
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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