too bad you live with your parents still
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
