i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
