I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
