Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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